The ring is on her finger, the champagne has been popped and congratulations have been sent. There is no doubt that the biggest decision to be made at the start of the Choosing a wedding style is deciding on the size. And with the pressure of family and cultural expectations brought to wedding planning in Kenya, it can be a difficult choice for many couples.

Whether you are dreaming of an intimate affair with just your inner circle of closest friends and family, or a spectacular event that brings together hundreds of closest friends and family to celebrate the wedding of you and your loved one, Choosing a Wedding Style is a difficult one. The choice will decide upon your venue, your budget and the experience that your guests will have of your special day. Here’s how to decide upon whether an intimate wedding or a large affair is the right choice for you.

The Allure of an Intimate Wedding (The “Micro” Magic)

When we talk about an intimate wedding, we are generally talking about a ‘micro wedding‘ with a guest list of around 50 to 75 close family and friends. In keeping with its name an intimate wedding provides a focus on the couple with a smaller crowd of close loved ones. A stripped back wedding with a focus on what matters most.

• Deeper Connections: Time to Focus on Your Loved Ones: At a small wedding you can focus on your loved ones instead of hurrying around to thank every guest at a crowded table for their presence. You can take the time to chat properly with all your guests, to enjoy a great meal with them and dance the night away with every single one of them.
• Budget Flexibility: This is by far one of the biggest advantages of an intimate wedding and that is due to the dramatic effect that your guest list has on your wedding budget. For example if you had a guest list of 400 guests then a multi-course gourmet meal or a few stunning floral installations would be likely to break the bank, however for an intimate wedding with a guest list of only 50-75 close family and friends this will suddenly become affordable and you will have the budget flexibility to indulge in the finer things and really give your guests a luxury wedding experience.
• Access to Unique Venues: With a small guest list your wedding venue options are huge. You could get married in an art gallery, in a boutique private villa on the Kenyan coast or in a secluded romantic garden. Exclusivity of space opens up many more options of where you can have your intimate wedding.

The Challenges to Consider

• The Guest List Guilt: This has to be one of the hardest things to deal with when planning a small wedding, Guest List Guilt. In many cultures, including Kenyan culture, the traditional wedding is a big affair with the whole community turning up for the celebrations.

Vendor Minimums: Many wedding vendors in the traditional market are used to planning large affairs with big numbers and therefore have minimum numbers or spend in their contracts. Choosing a Wedding Style and the right vendors for a very intimate affair can be challenging. A great planner can read between the lines of contracts and recommend more boutique style vendors who can deliver on your dreams.

The Magic of a Grand Wedding (Big, Bold, and Beautiful)

Dreaming of a very large wedding? If you think of a ‘Grand’ wedding, a typical Grand wedding could have up to 150 or more guests. In Kenya large luxury weddings are an expression of the rich cultural marriage ceremonies that are held to celebrate the union of two people in marriage but also bring together the two families’ and their communities in one big celebration of great joy and festivity.

• There’s nothing like the excitement of a packed room: a huge dance floor, all your friends cheering as you enter, a fantastic party that will be remembered by all for the rest of your life – that’s what large weddings are all about.
• An Inclusive Celebration: The biggest stress of planning a wedding is who to leave out. With a big guest list there is no need to stress about cutting the list of special people who you want to celebrate with on your big day. Friends from childhood, mates from University and work colleagues can all join in on the celebration of your special day, meeting your families and keeping them happy as well as ensuring that all of your loved ones are included on the day.
• The Grand Spectacle: To accommodate a large number of guests, a grand wedding requires a large amount of space which can be turned into a grand setting and become your canvas to create your luxury wedding. This is the time to really go all out with decor, have towering floral arrangements, create a grand entrance, and have spectacular entertainment such as a live band or dramatic lighting effects to name a few.
• Most grand weddings are expensive: Although having more guests could save on per person costs, the sheer scale of venue, catering, tables and chairs, seating plans and management of RSVPs, special diets and other needs of your guests can lead to enormous overall expense. As with all matters relating to a grand wedding, a large number of guests requires a very large overall wedding budget.

Another huge challenge when it comes to having a large wedding, is the complexity involved in getting everything to run on time and as planned. RSVPs, Guest dietary requirements, Seating plans, guest arrival and departure times to name but a few. Planning a big wedding requires an expert. We at Lumi Events promise to deliver this and more so that you can enjoy your special day without a care about the smallest details.

5 Key Factors to Help You On Choosing a Wedding Style

1. How are your personalities? If you both are introverted then a reception of 400 could be really stressful while an intimate setting would allow you to be yourselves without too much distraction and pressure. Alternatively, if you’re a couple of party animals then a big wedding will be as natural for you as breathing while an intimate wedding would bore you.

2. How you intend to spend your budget. This ties in to point 1 because there is a huge difference between the total budget for a wedding and the cost per head. For a large wedding with 400 guests you will need a large total budget purely because of the number of guests. However, for an intimate wedding with a small total budget, the cost per head could be far higher and you could afford to create a hyper-luxurious, completely tailored experience for your guests.

3. Family Dynamics and Cultural Expectations – A wedding is seen by many Kenyans as a milestone in the community as well as the individual’s life. Therefore, as couples, you must weigh up your personal wishes against the cultural expectations. If not including extended family members will cause upset and create tension, then it may be better to hold a larger celebration to avoid causing family distress. This is a sensitive issue and must be addressed early in the planning with both sets of families.

4. Your Venue: Your vision of where you want your ceremony and your reception can greatly influence your guest list. If you are thinking of having your ceremony in a secret garden of a hotel then an intimate guest list is the way to go. However, a hidden secret garden could also be the perfect place for an intimate cocktail party, however this would not be ideal for a larger guest list. On the other hand, if you have your heart set on getting married in a hotel with a huge ballroom then go for it and have the most grand wedding that hotel can provide!

5. The Desired Guest Experience: This is where things get really clear to couples. Imagine you have shut your eyes and have thought of your perfect wedding reception. Is that a small shared intimate candlelit dinner with buffet platters of food and plenty of quality conversation with your guests? Or a crazy, high-energy party festival for hundreds of guests where the live band rocks until 3 am in the morning? If you’ve imagined a dinner party then an intimate guest list is for you, but a party festival requires a large guest list.

Can’t Decide? Blend the Best of Both Worlds

Not everyone is lucky enough to make peace between these extremes of intimacy and opulence, and have lately resorted to hybrid weddings – which allow to combine the best features of small and large weddings. Such an approach includes an intimate ceremony for 20 closest family and friends held in a quiet atmosphere, while later in the evening a grand party is opened to 300 guests, consisting of the wedding party’s colleagues, and other family and friends. Such a way of celebration will make you fully feel the special occasion when exchanging your vows with your beloved in an intimate environment, while in the evening – a king (or a queen) surrounded by admirers.

Conclusion: Your Story, Your Celebration

Remember, it’s your wedding. And there’s nothing wrong with celebrating your special day with an intimate gathering of close family and friends or having that grand luxurious soiree of 300 plus guests including close friends, family and work colleagues. Really it’s about how you can best celebrate your love story and honor your values as a couple within your budget.

At Lumi Events we can create your perfect ‘Choosing a Wedding Style’ idea to be a truly memorable event. Whether your ideal wedding is an intimate occasion with family and close friends or a bigger occasion where you can celebrate with all your loved ones, our events team will work diligently to create the perfect day for you. Speak with a member of our events team to discuss your ideas and how we can make them a reality – email us at lumievents.co.ke.